Negotiating parenting arrangements can often be tricky. But when your children are aged zero to four, parenting arrangements can present even more unique challenges.
Infants and toddlers have distinct emotional, developmental and even physical needs. This means that parenting arrangements and custody schedules must take these needs into account.
So, what are the key considerations that you should keep in mind when planning your parenting arrangements for your young children, and how is this handled legally in Australia?
What does Australian family law say about parenting arrangements?
Family law in Australia is governed by the Family Law Act 1975 (the Family Law Act), and this includes parenting arrangements. It’s central principle is the best interests of the child. And this has to be the overarching consideration whenever you’re putting together parenting and custody arrangements for your kids.
The key factors that influence parenting arrangements are:
- The best interests of the child.
- The need to protect the child from harm.
- The benefit of a child maintaining a meaningful relationship with both parents.
- The capacity of each parent to provide for the child’s emotional and physical needs and wellbeing.
For children who are four or under, the factors you use to create the best parenting plans for your child need to be tailored to the child’s age, development and needs.
Why parenting arrangements for the 0–4 year age group require special consideration
Babies and toddlers four and under have distinct needs. They’re at a crucial stage of development where stable relationships and routines can significantly impact their emotional and cognitive growth. This means that consistent caregiving, adequate sleep and nutritional support all matter.
The law emphasises the importance of maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents – but it must be safe and appropriate. For children in the zero to four age group this means that it also must address their specific developmental needs.
1. Consistent caregiving.
For this age group, attachment and bonding are particularly important. Consistent caregiving builds a sense of security and allows your child to develop both emotionally and socially.
When there are disruptions this can lead to separation anxiety and developmental challenges. Consistency is the key to building trust and emotional security, so parenting plans should ensure regular and predictable contact with both parents.
2. Adequate sleep.
Babies depend on a structured sleep schedule. And when they don’t have a consistent sleep routine they can become overstimulated, overwrought and even ill. A lack of sleep can also lead to developmental issues.
Parenting arrangements should minimise disruptions to these routines to best support your children
3. Nutritional support.
In Australia, 63.9% of babies are exclusively breastfed. This can make a difference to parenting arrangements because the child may need to be with the mother full time while they are exclusively breastfed.
Parenting arrangements need to take these – and any other – special considerations into account so they’re adequately prioritising the child’s wellbeing. That includes making sure that the arrangements actually support the child’s nutritional needs without undue stress on the breastfeeding parent.
4. Separation anxiety & developmental milestones
Babies and toddlers often experience separation anxiety when they have time away from their main custodial caregiver. One of the best ways to handle this is arrange for short but frequent visits with the other parent.
As your child grows, your arrangements can evolve to align with their development.
5. Other considerations
- Sibling relationships. If the child has a sibling, it’s a good idea to keep their parenting arrangements the same as this can create more stability and connection.
- Parental mental health. The emotional wellbeing of both parents can significantly impact their ability to care for the child. In that case, it’s a good idea to find other support systems to help.
- Cultural or religious practices. Parenting arrangements need to take into account how cultural or religious values might influence caregiving practices and schedules.
Parenting arrangement options for infants and toddlers
There are many different options for parenting arrangements. But parenting arrangements for the zero to four year age group generally work best in a few ways.
Primary care with visitation
In this parenting arrangement, one parent will take the primary responsibility for the child’s daily care. The other parent will have regular visitation. This setup works well for children who need stability and continuity, and particularly for babies who breastfeed.
Shared care arrangements
Shared care (different to equal time care arrangements) involves both parents taking an active role in the daily caregiving of the children. This can work for very young children, but should be based on shorter, more frequent handovers, instead of extended stays in order to maintain a sense of routine and maintain the child’s primary attachment to their primary caregiver.
Supervised visits
When stability or safety is a concern for either parent or the child, supervised visits are a good option. They prioritise the child’s wellbeing while still allowing contact with the other parent.
Creating a parenting plan that works for everyone
There are three general options for creating a parenting plan:
- An informal arrangement – this is typically an oral or informal agreement, such as an email or text message.
- A parenting plan – this is an agreement, usually quite detailed, that is put in writing and signed by the parties but is not legally binding.
- Parenting orders – parenting orders are put in place by the Federal Circuit and Family Court and are legally binding on the parties.
Once you decide which option works for best for you, you’ll need to determine what the parenting arrangement sets out.
Have regard to the law
The first and most important step is to follow the law. Part VII, Division 4 of the Family Law Act sets out the requirements for a parenting plan, including that it should be in writing, signed by the parties and dated. It also provides a list of what the plan might deal with, including:
- Where the child will live
- How much time the child spends with each parent
- Who has the parental responsibility
- How the child will communicate with the parents
- The maintenance of the child
- How you will resolve disputes about the terms of the plan
- The process used for changing the plan, if necessary
- How you will address any special needs
- Anything else that might impact the care, welfare or development of the child
Have regard to what’s in the best interests of the child
Of course, when you’re negotiating parenting arrangements the best interests of the child must be at the top of your mind. Bear in mind that children generally have the right to know both their parents and they definitely have the right to be protected from risk of harm. In fact, the child’s safety must be prioritised when considering what’s in their best interests.
Write the plan
Finally, it’s time to write the plan. There’s no set format for writing a parenting plan, or any requirements about what must be included. Section 63 of the Family Law Act gives us some guidance namely that it can be detailed or simple, but it must be made voluntarily and focused on the child.
For children aged zero to four, we generally recommend that the child live full time with one parent, with frequent but short visits with the other parent. After the age of four or five, your child may be able to start spending the night with the non-primary caregiver. Setting a consistent parenting schedule can help build stability and sense of safety to support that change.
One way to do this is a 2-2-3 rotation, though there are many other options.
Co-parenting tips for the 0-4 age group
When it comes to co-parenting babies and toddlers, it takes some patience and flexibility. Some tips we often offer our clients are:
- Be open with communication. Using tools like co-parenting apps can help.
- Focus on consistency. Try to use similar routines across households.
- Be flexible. Babies and toddlers are constantly growing and developing. Be flexible so you can adjust to their changing needs.
- Be respectful. You will have conflicts with the other parent. Keep disagreements away from the children and be respectful as much as possible.
FAQs on parenting arrangements for children aged 0-4
How often should a toddler see each parent?
The frequency of visits depends on the factors unique to your family and your child. These are things like the child’s routine, the parents’ availability and the child’s specific needs. Frequent, shorter visits with the non-primary caregiver work best when the children are young.
Can an infant stay overnight with the non-primary caregiver?
Generally, infants do better when they stay with their primary caregiver overnight. However, overnight stays may be appropriate if the infant has a secure attachment to the non-primary caregiver and they can meet the child’s needs (for example, breastfeeding). A suitably qualified child practitioner can assist parents to determine if a child’s attachment is secure, and when overnights might be trialed.
How do I handle breastfeeding when co-parenting?
Coordinate your schedules to align with feeding times. If direct breastfeeding full time isn’t feasible, you might consider whether you can feed your child expressed milk sometimes. Again, this needs to always be what’s in the best interest of the child and suitable for both parents.
When to seek professional help?
Navigating parenting arrangements or any child can be tricky – but even more so when you have very young children. Professional support can help. Mediation can help you reach an agreement with the other parent, and an experienced family lawyer can guide you through the entire process.
At Watts McCray we specialise in crafting parenting plans that prioritise the wellbeing of your child while taking into consideration the unique needs of your family. If you need some assistance with your own parenting arrangements for the 0-4 year age group, get in touch. We’re here to help you move forward with confidence.
